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Sooner or later, my father does something that interfers with my work, be it upsetting me or whatever. Been updating the wikia in odd places today, but I had to stop. Something was up this morning and I was working on the wikia while I waited for an urgent phone call to come through, which my father knew about. When it comes through, my dad picks up the phone (we have two phones on and answers it, the person was kind enough to call me back even after I accidently cancelled the call. But theres an argument between me and my father over it after its done.

I'm not talking about the finer details, but I'm pee'd off with it because I've basically had to stop editing the wikia for today due to upsetness. My dad when he gets "all high and mighty" starts upsetting people and seems to think his God it seems. And he upset me by resulting to blackmailic words about if I didn't "change my attitude I'd have to go find somewhere else to live". Its strange for him to tell me this, considering he started the argument through interferring. I wouldn't minded but he didn't bother apologising for it and started ranting and raving about my telling him off about picking up "his own phone".

When I could see he was doing a tantrum about it, I tried to end it kept on and on, turning to threats when I wasn't in the mood for it anymore and just wanted him to stop talking. I've had enough of him lately. I'm old enough to tell him where his place is, but some parents do not like their kids telling them to be and thats my dad in a nutshell. Only everyone I know including his own friends berates him for being so immature and unreasonsiable so when you add it up, he is an immature adult who wants his own way and won't stop with it.

I was planning to start my next song as well today. Lyrics were written already. and I had done some tests in Vocaloid with Prima and Big-Al to get an idea of what I was going for. Everythings on hold until tomorrow. I'm out this afternoon anyway (related to the phonecall). If I'm not better by midday though, I'm going to have to call and try to take myself down the doctors before I sort this out.

I don't know what I'm going to do about my father though... Honestly, this is something that I will eventually have to resolve on my own, I haven't managed to pull it off yet though I've had it for 7 years this problem. Meanwhile theres a towel next to me which I grabbed quickly that speaks all that needs to be said right now. The nosebleed stopped, I'm calming down so the pressures off the veins, I'm properly going to have to go to the doctors this time though, the nosebleeds was quite bad and I threw up... Great, my local doctor isn't the best in the world, she only throws me off onto something else all the time and now I'm going to have to go back to her for this. No, this isn't my father's hands that caused the nosebleed.

BASICALLY, its a blood pressure related thing (stress and depression brought it on). When I'm really upset the pressure in the blood changes, I get a nosebleed without warning, I also have headaches on top of it and for several hours strong dizziness. Its the dip in oxygen headaches are caused by blood pressure, the veins burst and I have to calm myself down. If I calm down, everything is fine, but my dad wouldn't stop, I could "feel" the problems coming on and I just wanted to stop before I was left unable to cope with things for the rest of the day. I've tried to tell my doctor this, but as I said, she isn't great. This is about the 6th nosebleed related to me getting upset since June/July last year.

Thats it overall, me out for the rest of the day. Actually, dealing with getting upset is ultimately THE single reason why I avoid arguments lately on-line indefinately, its hard enough dealing with them off-line, let alone on-line.

Edit: While I was out I managed to find a drop in medical centre I didn't know existed in my town! :-O

So apparently, everything is fine, however my blood pressure was actually a little below average (considering I can have high blood pressure problems I'm actually taking this a lot lighter then I should). I'm still feeling really dizzy this afternoon though and it took me 2 hours to get seen by a doctor. Ironically, I had to get off the bus a stop early and peg it home; a second nosebleed just before I reached my stop. Not it mattered there wasn't much difference in distance between the stops. I just couldn't stop at the corner shop for something to munch on to calm my nerves a little more.

Considering that I'm relieved that its fine, its actually put me in a good mood this evening and if the dizziness is back to normal I can get on with do more wikia stuff later this evening and hopefully finish off what I was working on.  :-3

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