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Can't help this feeling

I know I shouldn't feel so depressed considering I'm old enough... I'm in my early 20s but why do I keep clinging to the feelings of the past? Like I was in my early school days. I wanted to feel relieved sometimes but I end up being depressed when I keep to myself. Faking everyday smiles, chit-chat and company but I feel like, I keep losing it. No matter how positive I think about things... My thoughts end up being filled with miserable things that I want to forget... how I wish it was easy to forget things. I don't have an outlet. My friends have their own lives and I don't want to bother them. My best bud, we haven't seen in person for months and all I can do is chat with him on FB, but I can't show him how depressed I am. I feel like sleeping an entire day to forget things but I just couldn't. I should post this somewhere but I dunno, I don't have any other social places to hangout aside FB. I just hope to find this happiness which won't only last for a single day.

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