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Translator's tips: 3 techniques

Posted new: a faithfully translated lyrics of "東京行き「さくら」" in PIAPRO.


I, Kirimisakana used three techniques in this work.

1.Let's see two techniques, deleting and transposing. "夜が明けたら新しい街は~" has nuance of "I'm wondering". I deleted it. The who wondering is "I". That is already clear to us.

In this lyric, the passenger "I" feels very anxiety. The young who has ambition and anxiety, try to deny the latter. Expressing this anxiety, I transposed the subject word "I" to "The city". Using non-life subject make the presence of "I" weak.

2.Let's see last technique, "not deleting". The phrase "帰る予約の無い片道切符" sounds little curiously in English translation. Though, I need to translate faithfully. To emphasize "this is first long trip in his/her life" point. The lyricist ( rashly man ) could write simple "片道切符" in Japanese. But he didn't. I, translator must obey his will. The "without booking return" words are needless to say in thesis, but this is lyric.

3.The reason of very different words "let the rail-beat me to rock". In English, "預ける ( azu + keru ) " means "leave something in somebody's care" or "entrust something to somebody". It sounds overstating the scene. "I" just sat on seat and rocked with railroad-beat. This is a variation of transposing.

Original song & lyrics here




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