... I want to try to be nicer here on the wiki. I've noticed that I've either been a "spoilsport", negative, easy to anger, mean spirited, semi-inappropriate (in terms of swearing), stubborn, rude....
I mean, personally, I don't always think I'm mean.... When I write something, it sounds right or correct in my head and doesn't seem to give off bad vibes, but to others, apparently they don't have the same idea.
So if you see me being mean or coming off as mean, or whatever, mind telling me? That way I can attempt to restate whatever I said in a more positive way or as nicely as I could put it? I won't get angry about it if you tell me (nicely of course, which I'm sure you all would say it nicely) because I asked you guys to.
I'm simply getting sick of the backlash I've been getting because I word things poorly. Some of it was obviously my fault, as it's clear that sometimes I'm angry when I reply to something, particularly if someone said something to offend me, but some or most are not. That and I want to learn how to control my anger or hold back and try to say things as calmly and nicely as I can.
And if you're curious as to why I'm always so easy-to-anger or easily offended, or sometimes sound negative/rude when I don't mean to be:
- I've always been bullied pre-high school. So I learned to be rude and talk big, but it always backfired somehow. Because if they're mean to me, it means nothing. If I'm mean to them back, they burst out crying or blame it all on me. =A=
- Family. Dad's side of the family is particularly stubborn and he always yells at home and is easy to piss off. Learned it from him, unfortunately
- Pre-Wiki I always get into some sort of fight or whatever. This was especially big in my weeb days.
- Thank the people, particularly 10 yr olds who swear and talk smack to older people, when playing online games. Tis also why I don't necessarily like children
- Hung around with kids who swear in particular. They're good friends, it's just they have no filter ;_;
- Low self esteem, thus I take it out on everyone else (though, I don't think I ever had that problem here)
And that's basically it. I'm not saying they're excuses to my actions, but just in case you're curious as to why I often behave negatively.